Getting Rid of the Plastic Junk Inside Me
I did not sleep well last night and now I think I know why. I drank a bunch of my homemade kombucha at night. It must have caffeine in it, right? I did manage to have an odd dream, which has come back into my consciousness at different points during the day.
The part I remember is that I went to squeeze a pore on my upper chest that always gets clogged. Instead of the zit type of pustules that usually emerge, it was these odd little plastic things. It was almost like a chain of stars and other colourful little plastic shapes. I got so much out. It was like a long string or chain that I didn’t know was inside, but it needed to come out. A chain of events? I was glad I got it out and felt better afterward. It wasn’t bloody or anything gross, it was just something inside that needed excavation and expulsion.
My Pisces horoscope by Rob Brezsny for last week said something about imagining the me I want to become. I feel like there is something I need to get rid of inside of me. Weight? An outdated persona? Something. In reality I have so much that needs to get done before school gets out, and I haven’t done a whole lot of good imagining lately.
Tonight I watched that Kumaré movie while cooking dinner. I enjoyed it, and was relieved it wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be. I thought it was going to be mean and trick people. In the end, it was all about ‘the guru being inside of you’. In a way, that’s a lot like Buddhism.
So, what is it Bethy? It’s almost February 27, 2014. If you add up all those numbers to a single digit, it ends up as 9. This is the Thai superstitious number gao, which means moving forward. It’s time. Not sure how it’s going to happen, but it seems like with Mercury going direct on Feb. 28th, and a Pisces new moon the day after, that the energy is about to start flowing.
We can become what we imagine ourselves to be. Maybe, just maybe we have all these little superstitions to help us believe things to help us deal with ourselves. If we want to become better people, we need to visualize that happening. We need to believe that we can make it happen. We need to become better listeners.
Maybe You Really Are a Gorgeous Genius. Thanks Rob Brezsny
What is it? Author Elizabeth? Is it the funny book, or the serious one? Oddly, I’m leaning toward the funny one. Would it be empowering for women to be funny in a book? It’s certainly been done before, though I tend to think my story could be good and somehow different. Maybe a fusion of the serious and the funny. That way it would be real. Is that what jumps out when trying to imagine my future? What about the husband? The two children? Is that the part I need to let go, or the part I need to imagine more clearly? What about teaching?
Pisces Horoscope for week of February 27, 2014 from http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/
“Avery, a character in Anne Michaels’ novel The Winter Vault, has a unique way of seeing. When he arrives in a place for the first time, he “makes room for it in his heart.” He “lets himself be altered” by it. At one point in the story he visits an old Nubian city in Egypt and is overwhelmed by its exotic beauty. Its brightly colored houses are like “shouts of joy,” like “gardens springing up in the sand after a rainfall.” After drinking in the sights, he marvels, “It will take all my life to learn what I have seen today.” Everything I just described is akin to experiences you could have in the coming weeks, Pisces. Can you make room in your heart for the dazzle?” – Rob Brezsny
OK Rob, I’ll make room for some dazzle. I’ll make room for what I see in my heart. Also, I think I need to read The Winter Vault by Anne Michaels. I’m supposed to go to Kerala, India on my holiday in mid-March to mid-April. I’ve heard the Indian consulate in Chiang Mai, where I should get my visa, is a nightmare. Thinking of getting it in Bangkok instead. So much of me just wants to pack it in and skip out on the whole thing. The other part of me knows that I’ve been wanting to go to India half of my life. Maybe it’s time. I haven’t even left Thailand for over a year now. It’s hard to leave this place I love, even for a vacation. Maybe with Mercury direct, planning that trip will flow more smoothly.
Maybe Kerala is the (temporary) somewhere. Is there a someone? Is there a something? Oh how I want to have time to imagine, not just for me, but for everyone. My sensitive Pisces soul knows I need to imagine. My daydreams are coming out at night because my waking life is so full. Dazzle away, person, place, or thing, I’m ready. I also ready to imagine for the good of us all.