Amused, Indignant, yet slightly Flattered
It’s a true story, I am not in my 20s anymore, however, sometimes because I live here, I end up spending time with 20 somethings. It’s not a bad thing, but I’m just not there anymore. They know I’m older, but usually not how much.
After an intense yoga class, a Japanese hippie was band playing at an art gallery I like, so I went with a 26 year old female friend of mine. We had a good time. Next we went to the Griffin bar, which I happen to enjoy a lot, but I should have left after an hour at most due to the cigarette smoking alone. The conversation of teachers in training bored me truthfully. My friend is lovely, but she is in a different phase of life than me. I’m just not there anymore and having nights like this reminds me that I’m actually thankful about that.
Our last stop of the evening was the Babylon/reggae bar area of tourist central Chiang Mai. It’s basically a bunch of drunk 20 somethings on holiday. I am not into drunkenness anymore at all really. Just don’t have the tolerance. Never have liked tall drunks, they scare me.
As I was about to leave, a guy named Ian was emphatically singing all the words to every song that came on, which made me laugh. Literally 2 minutes later he wanted to make out with me. Um no. I said, “If you really want to kiss me you can wait until tomorrow.” He was rather insistent, but did not succeed.
We talked a while. He bought me a beer which I didn’t want nor did I drink it. He had been in Colombia just after I left. He worked at the same hostel that I had been to in Santa Marta. We both knew someone in common who worked there. He reminisced fondly of Colombia. I did not.
He was a funny, cute, harmless 26 years old. I had absolutely no interest. It was really late and I should have left hours before. I know I should always listen to the little voice in my head, but sometimes the ‘wait and see’ voice can be louder. My instincts of knowing when to get out of somewhere have kept me safe for years. I had the flight response kick in and knew it was time to go that minute.
Ian walked me to my car. I gave him a ride to his near his motorbike back at the bar. He thought he was going to come home with me, but I knew that wasn’t happening. When he got out of the car, he slammed the door. I really didn’t care. I realized afterwards that I should have just told him how old I was, and that likely would have diminished his interest. I made it home in 16 minutes because there was absolutely no traffic on the road at 3:40 am
On my way home I giggled to myself thinking of a quote from a This American Life show I had recently heard, “Anyone in New York City can have sex on any night of the week if they just follow 2 rules, which are just stay the bar until 4 in the morning, and dramatically lower your standards.”
I think this may also be true in Chiang Mai….even for farang women.
For once in a long while, I feel a bit better about my age. Damn, I can’t believe I’m in my early 40s. Also, damn, I have done a lot in my years. Be thankful. Be filled with the gratitude of knowing everything happens as it should when it should.