I am about to do something I have never done before. A colonic detox.

This year my immune system seems to have been compromised and I have been run down more than I’d like. About 10 months ago I got very ill. It began with no voice for a week and slight fever, then sore throat, and extreme fatigue. I found out after 3 weeks that I had mononucleosis. It made made lethargic and listless all the time for about 3 months, though I often still went to work – not smart. I still have occasional bouts of exhaustion. My Dad told me it would probably take the better part of the year until it was all out of my system. A year? Really? Oh no! Guess what? Dad was right.

On the whole I live a healthy lifestyle. I eat a vegetarian diet with plenty of leafy greens, and occasional fish. I don’t eat a lot of processed food. I do yoga regularly, ride my bike, and, swim, walk and sometimes run. I don’t smoke, and drink occasionally, but less so lately.

A few weeks ago I inadvertently got an abdominal chi cleansing massage, which I think got things moving in the right direction. Last week I had a super intense reflexology foot massage, which I think released a few more toxins.

Lately things have just not been ‘flowing’ internally. My friend was in town and had gotten a colonic treatment for his first time. He explained the process in full detail and raved about the place where it was done as clean, competent, professional, and comfortable.

It seemed, for many reasons, like a good idea to do this. Stay tuned for how things turn out.

I shared my tuk tuk ride across town to the clinic with a poodle-like white dog who was in the backseat when I got in. At first she looked at me, not sure quite what to think. Then she slowly approached and sniffed me. Next, she put her head on my lap. As I stroked her head, she crawled in my lap. When I was getting up to leave she growled at the tuk tuk driver for trying to take her off my lap. Nothing like a bit of dog love. Maybe she was trying to comfort me for what would come next. Dogs know.

Don’t be alarmed, the following writing is not scatological, though it does contain the word rectum.

The nurse explained the procedure to me thoroughly in very good English. 25 liters of water would slowly enter through the rectum, and the cleansing would begin would take about an hour, and was supposedly painless. There was a mirror to see what came out. She took my blood pressure 140/90, which is high for me, and then began the cleanse.

Injection of the tube in the rectum was not painless. Then the water was turned on and it felt weird, but not painful. After about a minute I started to get unbearably hot. Sweating profusely and began to black out like I was going to faint. My body couldn’t handle it. The nurse turned off the water, applied a cool compress to my head.

She took my blood pressure, which had dropped to 80/56 – dangerously low. I felt feverish and weak. They brought me cold water to drink, warm ginger tea, gave me Thai smelling salts. Then took my blood pressure again. It rose, but only slightly 86/60. This went on for a few more minutes as rested and cooled down.

The nurse was obviously surprised by this reaction and left me with the receptionist in the room while she went to call a doctor. The sweet receptionist  applied the cool compress to my head, wiped my flushed and sweaty face. She also did something more important – with her free hand, she held my hand. This calmed me down tremendously. After a few minutes, she took my blood pressure: 110/70 – my normal blood pressure.

They apologized profusely and refunded my money minus the supplies used. The nurse recommended I see a doctor if I felt unwell. At home an hour later I am fine.

I have since read that colon cleansing is not really recommended. Your colon cleans itself unless there is a blockage, or interference from drugs, or illness. I know people who love them, but for me when it comes to colonics, I’ll just say no.


One thought on “Detoxification?

  1. Very interesting. I have had similar experiences with colonics, but still have done them anyway. We’ll have to talk ‘colonics’ when I see you next!

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