Being Brave

Being Brave

People tell me I’m brave to quit my job, rent out my house, and move to Thailand with no job, no place to live, not knowing the language, and only having one acquaintance here. This may be true. I trusted that things would work out, and they have. I have a job, a temporary place to live, and I am quite happy.

BUT there are things that scare me – driving here – which I’m realizing more and more is a fear I need to face…but with a car, not a motorbike. Groups of dogs on the street are unnerving, but as long as I’m on my bike and it is light outside, they tend to have no interest in me. Just now something happened that scared the *expletive* out of me.

I came back to my room and as I was turning on the light for the bathroom, I saw something scurry away from my foot at an alarmingly rapid rate. It was a HUGE spider. Now, I’ve seen plenty of spiders here, and generally I’m not worried about them at all. I leave them alone and usually just allow them to stay in my room because they eat the mosquitoes. This one was enormous and ridiculously fast! Each leg was rather skinny, but the length of my finger. Upon realizing its size and speed, I screamed. It ran again.

We were both paralyzed with fear and had a staring contest, I guess the spider won because when I realized it wasn’t moving, I went off to get my camera to try and capture its gargantuan size. I came back and it was gone. Yikes! Now where is it? Oh, exactly NOT where I want it to be – on the low sloped ceiling right above my head! I move, but the spider moves faster. I hear footsteps outside and decide to see who is there, no one answered, so probably no one who speaks English. I return inside and now the spider has vanished. Great.

Do I want to go get someone? Yes. Do I want anyone to kill the spider? No. Is anyone around? Sort of, I know people are awake. Do I go get anyone? I do not. This is a perfect scenario and reminder of what would I do if I lived alone – exactly what I’m doing now, I’m trying to calm myself down. Besides, even if I did get someone, what would I say? “I saw a big scary speedy spider and now it’s disappeared, will you find it?” Clearly, that would just  be silly.

Should I stay here at Nugent Waterside? I will be until Christmas, and then it’s anyone’s guess. I hope the spider has decided to move out by the morning. Where is it? I have no idea, but I hope it decided that outside is a more suitable living space than my bathroom. I wonder how well I’ll sleep tonight knowing there is a gigantic arachnid hiding somewhere in my room. Outlook not so good.

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